Gold And Green
by Dangerous Ducks
Summary: POST COHF. Jace loves Clary's green eyes. And Clary loves his gold ones. But when Clary falls into a tragic demon hunting accident, and she loses her eyesight, how will Jace stand to stare at those beautiful eyes if they can't stare back?
1. Turning Page

**Chapter One: Turning Page**

* * *

**August 12th, 2010**

**Jace POV**

"I really hate you," Simon mutters as he rubs the newly applied iratze on his arm. "You said you'd go easy!"

"He _was_ going easy," someone says from the doorway before I can reply. The two of us looked up and see Alec in the doorway.

"Hey, when did you get home?" I ask, hopping off the mat and jogging towards my brother. "Maryse said you weren't gonna be here until tomorrow."

"We were ready to come home today," replies Alec. He looks past me to Simon, who's laying on the floor in despair. "Hey Si." Simon just waves him away and groans. Alec looks at me. "All right, what the heck did you do, Jace?"

"He's just a sore loser."

Simon sits up. "You _broke_ my _arms!_ ARM_S!_"

"Sorry?"

He just shakes his head and lays back down on the mats.

"So," I say to Alec. "How was Barcelona?"

Alec blinks. "Barcelona?"

"Yeah."

"Jace, Magnus and I were in Moscow."

I laugh. "No, you were in Barcelona."

Alec looks slightly flustered. "Jace, I'm a hundred percent positive we were in Moscow. We even have a picture that has a 'Moscow' sign in the background."

My eyebrows crease. "Really?"

"Really."

"But... Magnus told me you were in Barcelona."

"I think you just answered your own question."

"Fair point."

Alec smiled and looked around. "I didn't see Izzy in her room, and the the dinner smells untoxic, so I thought she'd be in here."

"Oh. Iz and Clary went demon hunting," I say. After the incident with Magnus's father and the journey through the demon realm, it took a while for all of us to be able to fight demons again. But now that we all have Simon back and Sebastian's gone, we can fight as well as we could before, if not, even better. "Meanwhile, I was trying to teach Simon a cool trick." I look over at him. He's still moaning. "It didn't go very well." I turn back to Alec. "They should be home any minute now."

Sure enough, the doors to the training room open and Izzy and Clary stroll in, both reeking of demon ichor. "Hey-ALEC!" Izzy exclaims, jumping on top of him and covering him with the black blood.

"Whoa, hey," he says with a smile.

Clary looks at me dreamily and gives me a big kiss.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey," she says.

"Did you get hurt?" I ask.

"Just a scratch; nothing an iratze couldn't fix," she says. Then she leans in close to my ear and says, "Are we gonna tell them tonight?"

"Yeah," I whisper back. I give her hand a squeeze and a reassuring smile.

Clary's eyes dart over towards Simon. "Simon, are you okay?"

"Nope."

She looks at me and frowns. The next thing I know, the back of her hand in connecting to my cheek.

"Ow!" I cry. "What was that for!"

"That," says Clary, "is for harassing my best friend."

Isabelle springs off Alec and runs over to her boyfriend, as if suddenly realizing his distress. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm actually fine. You just have a very entertaining spider up on your ceiling." Izzy playfully slaps him and gives him a kiss.

Simon's memory is almost fully restored, though Magnus told us that this is probably as good as it will get. Not that that's a bad thing; Simon has remembered nearly everything. There are a few things that he doesn't remember, but they aren't too important. He remembers all of us, and all of the journeys we went through together, and all the love we (well, at least he and the others) share, and that's all that matters.

The five of us leave the training room, all of us going to shower the grime off of us. I wash off in record time, fear and excitement coursing through my veins like wildfire for what Clary and I are about to reveal.

I get dressed in an unbuttoned, baby blue plaid short-sleeved shirt over a gray T-shirt, black converse and black jeans. I fix my hair a little bit and smile into the mirror. Then I walk out of my room, just to bump into Clary.

"Oof, sorry-" I start. I cut off when I see her appearance. She's wearing a dark purple, knitted sweater, a long, white skirt that ripples when she moves, and brown leather heeled boots. She wears her hair in a braid down her shoulder, has golden hoop earrings and a tiny bit of make up on. "You look... beautiful, birthday girl."

She blushes. "Not too bad yourself."

I drape my arm over her shoulder and she wraps her arm around my waist, and the two of us walk to the dining room.

* * *

The dinner is a special one. Magnus and Alec have returned home, it's Clary's birthday feast, and for something nobody knows of yet. Throughout the entire course of dinner, Magnus talks about his and Alec's time exploring all of Russia, Alec stepping in here or there to specify or add a detail. And, if there was any dislike that Maryse or Robert had for Magnus, it has been completely demolished.

Luke and Jocelyn have joined us as well wishing to tell their daughter happy birthday and give her gifts. Maia was invited too, not just for the heck of it, but because we haven't seen her in a while and wanted to see how she was doing as pack leader of Luke's old pack, and with Jordan's death. She seems to be doing okay, and I'm glad.

And most of all, everyone was celebrating Clary's nineteen full years on earth, and wishing her enough happy birthdays to last her a lifetime.

But I wasn't paying attention to all the talking and laughing and bonding. I was just staring at my beautiful girlfriend, and noticing how her green eyes light up when she laughs.

As we near the end of dinner, Clary meets my gaze and gives me the okay.

Clary's parents know what I am going to say because, of course, I had to ask them first. But Jocelyn just kissed me and Luke gave me one of those awkward man-hugs that I despise so. But that means I still have to break the news to the rest of the invitees.

I stand up and clear my throat. "Attention everyone. I have an announcement to make." Everyone stops talking and stares at me expectantly. "Last night, I asked Clary to marry me." A bunch of gasps went around the table. "And she said yes."

Izzy and Maia squeal with joy and start talking about us, Simon is smiling more than I have seen him smile all day, Alec and Magnus are congratulating us and all the parents were elated. And I just looked at my fiancé, wondering just how I got so lucky as to have her in my life, and to be able to love her and know she loves me back.

* * *

**The Next Day**

**Clary POV**

"Clary!" Isabelle calls, standing up from the bench she was resting on. "Time to go!"

I simply nod and turn my head towards Jace, who has a tiny crease of worry between his eyebrows. "All right, stay safe."

I laugh and kiss him. "I will, stop worrying about me."

"I always worry about you," he says with a small smile. I roll my eyes. "And Simon will kill me if anything happens to you, even if I'm not there. Little bastard."

I slap him.

"Jace Herondale, if you so much as say one mean thing to that boy, you can find a new fiancé. You already broke his bones yesterday."

Jace throws his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, chill woman."

"_Clary!_ If any mundanes die from these demons because we couldn't get there in time, the blame's on you!"

"I'm coming!" I scream, grabbing my 'Mathuel' and run over to her, turning my head to see the three boys walking down the opposite pathway. "Let's go."

"About time," Isabelle mutters, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder. Izzy and I are going demon hunting on one side of the park and the boys on the other, simply because Simon hasn't had too much experience with killing demons with Seraph blades, and Alec and Jace want to be there to help him. And Izzy and I are out just for the heck of helping the world and all.

"So," Izzy says as we walk down the pathway, no trace of her previous anger on her face. "How did Jace ask you?"

I smile, remembering the exact details of the proposal.

-**Flashback Begins**-

"Jace, why, exactly, are we in the greenhouse? It's really stuffy in here," I say, crinkling my nose.

"Aw, you look adorable when you do that," he says. I glare at him.

"Look, my allergies suck, so what do you need?" I ask.

Jace looks at me and drags me over to the middle of the room, where a blanket lays with a basket of food. "Remember this?"

I look at him softly. "This was what you did for my sixteenth birthday."

Jace smiles and motions for me to sit. We have the small meal that Jace packed: strawberries, chocolate and apples. When we are done, I rest my head in Jace's lap and play with the fingers on his hand.

And then, we hear the bells chime, signaling midnight. One by one, the flowers begin to bloom, revealing their beauty. I look back at Jace who is staring at me with so much emotion, I cannot possibly decipher it.

"Happy nineteenth birthday, Clarissa," he says. Jace reaches into his pocket and pulls out a miniature box. I was confused...

"Clary, we've known each other for a while now," Jace says. "When I first saw you, I thought you were beautiful. And when I first kissed you, I thought I had everything. And then Valentine quickly took it away. I don't trust that many people, Clary, and I'm afraid I trusted you too quickly." He pauses. "But trusting you was the best thing I ever did." He kneels down on one knee, and I suddenly understand what he is doing. "So, Clarissa Adele Fairchild, will you do me the greatest honor of becoming my wife?" He opens the box and reveals the Herondale ring.

There are tears streaming down my face, and I'm afraid if I open my mouth, a sob of joy would escape. So I only nod, and a wide smile breaks out on Jace's face. He stands up and kisses me, in the center of something beautiful, and for this instant we are the only people that existed, and the happiest people ever alive.

-**Flashback Ends**-

"Oh my god! Who _knew_ Jace was such a charmer!"

I laugh.

"So," Isabelle says, "when will the wedding be?"

"You do realize we've been engaged for a day and a half, right?"

Izzy blinks. "So?"

"We're only nineteen. And we need to _plan the entire thing_. It could take months."

Izzy huffs. "Rubbish. Just leave the planning to me." I roll my eyes and smile at my soon-to-be sister-in-law.

When we reach the pond, Isabelle's necklace starts to throb like mad, meaning that there are demons very close. And then we see them: a pack of demons unlike anything I've ever seen. They're black and have several tentacles, and mouths that reveal rows and rows of teeth. I pull out my 'Mathuel' and Izzy takes out her whip.

The hoard of demons all come at us at once, and I suddenly wish that Jace and Alec and Simon were with us right now. Isabelle starts lashing out, detaching limb after limb of a demon until there is nothing. I take my blade and sever off two of one of the demons tentacles, and they cry out in pain. One of the demon's tentacles slaps onto my arm and I try to pull away, but the sucker starts oozing an acid that burns through my gear material and onto my skin. I scream from the blinding pain. The acid starts to eat away at my skin when Isabelle cuts off the tentacle. I pull the severed limb from my arm and don't even look at my arm, not wanting to know the severity of my injury.

I turn around and see one demon about to bite me. I take my blade and slash right through the middle of its head, spraying ichor all over me. I shudder and watch the demon fall, twitching and writhing with pain until disappears.

Izzy screams and I turn to see a demon with one of its tentacles stuck to her cheek. Panicking, I sever the tentacle from the demon and slash it through the head, not waiting to watching it die. I bend down to Isabelle who is crying. The first time I've ever really seen Izzy cry. I take out my stele and try drawing an iratze on her cheek, but the blood keeps coming. If anything, the wound looks worse.

"This isn't working!" I cry, frustrated and panicked.

"Look out!" Izzy screams, looking past me. I spin around to see the last demon is pummeling towards me. I shout the name 'Mathuel' and my Seraph blade glows to life. As quickly as my Shawdowhunter instincts will let me, I thrust the blade towards the demon's head, just to have it miss and sever a tentacle from its body. The demon squeals, and quickly wraps a tentacle around my throat, causing me to drop my blade. I claw at the slimy tentacle, trying desperately for it to loosen its grasp on me. I can't breathe.

Isabelle's whip flashes in the corner of my eye, and I see one of the tentacles fall to the ground. I assume she was trying to sever the one that grasps me. But the demon only squeals and slaps one tentacle over my eyes. I scream as I feel the acid creep its way into my eyes and skull, slowly and painfully eating away to reach my brain.

I gasp hoarsely at the pain and hear Isabelle cry in horror. My mind starts to go fuzzy and black edges my vision. Fire courses through my veins and the weight of the pain weighs me down. I can't see, can't breathe, can't think, and the weight is dragging my down, like a powerful gravity, pulling me into the earth. As I'm being pushed underwater, unable to reach the surface. I hear a yell, a man's yell, and I think it's Jace's yell, but it's too late for me, for him, for _us_.

_It's too late._

And the pain weighs me down so far, that I fall into nothing.


	2. Down

**AN: Thanks for the support! If I can get up to five reviews, I'll post the next chapter. Love you all!**

**Chapter Two: Down**

* * *

**Simon POV**

I drop to my knees, gasping for air.

"Wow," Jace says, picking up my 'Sameth' from the ground and handing it to me. "That was... quite a bloody slaughter."

I huff. "I wanted to make sure it was dead!"

"So you had to slice off all its limbs, cut it in half, and decapitate it?" Alec asks, looking slightly amused.

"I'm an _amateur!_" I protest. It's only after I say it that I wish I could take that back. "And I'd rather kill the demon before it kills me, thank you very much."

The day I became a Shadowhunter was the... _weirdest_ day of my life. And happiest, I guess you could say. But it was weird.

The ceremony was at the beginning of the year, after one hot, long battle with the Clave, and when I was positive I was ready. Magnus told me that drinking from the Mortal Cup would kill ordinary mundanes, but when we raised Raziel and I drank from it, I felt like someone tore out my old insides and replaced them with new, better-working ones. Like I was blessed by an Angel. And I supposed I wasn't any ordinary mundane.

So then, I got my marks, and was sent to the New York Institute, where I live now. Gradually, more and more memories started to come back to me, like when I thought I loved Clary, visiting the Seelie Court, Raising Raziel, Hodge, Max, Raphael, Maia, Jordan, Isabelle, and many, many other things. But the most painful thing to remember was the look on everyone's face as I was about to give up my memories to Abadon. The lost hope, the solemn expressions, the broken ones, it was all painful to re encounter. But I saved them, I saved them, and that's all that matters to me.

All the people I can now call my friends (and Jace) helped me train and become a skilled Shadowhunter. And now, I can definitely kill demons with my Seraph blade, but I don't have too much experience with actually doing so.

Jace claps me on the back. "Well, that one was much better. You didn't even scream that time. I'll give you an eight out of ten. Good job, nerd."

I roll my eyes and stand to my feet. I'm covered in sticky, black ichor that smells disgusting. It makes me shudder. "I want a shower."

Jace crosses his arms over his chest. "Well, I want all ducks to go extinct, but that's not going to happen now, will it?"

Alec turns to his brother. "Ducks?"

"They're evil masterminds. Little bastards."

I chuckle. "_Ducks?_"

Jace sighs, exasperated. "They're _evil_. Did I not just tell you that?"

"So, what you're saying," says Alec, "is that _you're_ afraid of _ducks?_"

"Maybe..."

I burst out laughing.

"Ducks," I say. "Ducks!" I thought he wasn't afraid of _anything_, let alone _ducks_. 6I laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"Hey, Simon?" Jace says.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

A smile creeps onto Alec's face. "Ducks."

"SHUT UP!"

"I think-" Alec starts. But we don't get to know what he thinks. Because a shrill scream rings throughout the park, cutting off our laughter. A scream too familiar.

"_Isabelle!_" I exclaim. Jace looks too shocked and worried to move. Alec starts tugging at him to get him to move. I run ahead, trying desperately to avoid knocking over the mundanes that can't see me, scared for what I'm going to find.

I reach the pond first, and I almost vomit.

Clary is limp in the grasp of a demon with several tentacles. The demon's tentacles are bleeding an acid onto her face. Isabelle is crying, lashing her whip at the demon with all she has.

Jace and Alec come to a stop behind me. I want to scream something, but there is a lump in my throat, blocking off all words.

"CLARY!" Jace screams. He quickly pulls out his 'Lionyth' and I quickly pull out my 'Sameth', but luckily Alec is already a step ahead of us. He shoots an arrow at the demon, and the arrow plants itself in the middle of the demon's head. That seems to be the last straw for the demon, and it crumples to the ground, dragging Clary with it. It's body slowly disappears, leaving Clary in a heap on the ground

Jace runs to Clary's aid and I run to Izzy, just as she collapses in tears. Without a word, Jace quickly scrambles to his feet, Clary in his arms, and runs down the path, towards the Institute. Isabelle is shaking in my arms and I pull her down into my lap. Alec crouches down beside us and gently asks, "Isabelle?"

She just shakes her head and cries into the front of my shirt. Alec looks as concerned as I feel.

"I-I tried... I tried t-to kill... kill it, but-" she breaks off, sobbing. I hold her tighter.

I look at Alec. "Go back to the Institute," I say as calmly as I can muster. "We'll be there soon."

Reluctantly, Alec stands. Over the past few years, I feel like I earned Alec's trust and respect to take care of his sister. Even Jace has lightened up on me. A very, very little bit.

Alec hurries down the pathway that Jace ran down, leaving me with Isabelle. Her sobs have subsided now, and she's just shuddering as if it were the middle of winter.

Isabelle gasps for air and slowly sits up in my lap, running a hand through her dirty hair. I put a hand on her shoulder and she looks at me. It is now that I notice the wound on her cheek. It looks like someone held a lighter to her cheek, with melted flesh and burns.

"What happened to your cheek?" I ask, horrified. "Do you need an iratze?"

"That's the thing," she says. "Iratzes don't work on it. It just makes it worse."

I wipe a piece of hair out of her eyes. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Izzy bites her lip. "It-It was a demon I don't know," she starts. "It had these tentacles that made this acid that can burn through your bones. Runes don't affect it." I look at the gruesome, mangled mess that was once her right cheek and felt sick. "One of the demon's tentacles starting choking Clary and covered her eyes to burn her brain and..." She takes a shaky breath. "I tried to help her, Simon. I really did. One of the demon's tentacles burned my cheek, and it felt like it was on fire. I can't begin to imagine..." Isabelle looks down. "I failed her, Simon. Now she might die and-"

"Shh," I say gently, despite the flips my stomach is doing. "You did what you could."

But she just shakes her head and stands up. I stand next to her and grab her shoulder, forcing her to look at me. "Isabelle, the state Clary is in right now is not your fault. You didn't know what those demons were capable of, and you were outnumbered. Okay?"

She sniffs and nods weakly. "God, I _hate_ crying."

I take her hand and the two of us hurry to the Institute, knowingly unprepared for what we were about to face.

* * *

**Isabelle POV**

The elevator doors open, leading Simon and I into the Institute. There are quiet voices coming from the kitchen, but besides that I don't hear anyone. They all must be in the infirmary.

"Let's go get you cleaned up," Simon says gently. My face feels sticky with tears, my injured cheek throbs with a dulling pain, my clothes are covered with ichor and my hair is slick with blood, but I can't will myself to go into the bathroom and clean up. I know Simon only loves me and wants what's best for me, but right now the guilt is eating more at me than the acid did to my cheek.

"I'm fine," I lie hoarsely.

But Simon tugs me gently towards his room and leads me to his bathroom. I'm too tired to protest.

He motions for me to sit on the edge of the tub and crouches down in front of me. He pulls my boots and socks off, then removes all my extra padding and my jacket, leaving me in my tight, black shirt and black leggings. He takes off my heavy necklace and places it on the counter. I look at the concentration in his eyes and the gentleness of his actions. And it makes my heart swell to see the love and care he gives me.

Simon looks up at me, with demon blood splattered on his face and wound in his hair. He looks scared; for me or for his best friend, I'm not sure. Maybe even for himself. He lifts up one of his hands and gently grazes my injured cheek. A shiver runs up my spine, but Simon must mistake it for a flinch because he pulls his hand away.

"Take a shower," he says softly. "I'll go check on everyone and put out some clean clothes for you." He stands and opens the door.

"Simon?" I say. He turns to look at me. "Thank you."

He simply nods and gives a small smile before closing the door behind him.

Sighing, I peel off the rest of my clothes and take a hot shower, hissing as the water hits my cheek. By the end of the shower, I've scrubbed myself raw, my hair feels like it was yanked by a five-year-old, my cheek has gone numb and I have a killer headache. I just want to take a long, long nap under the covers.

I creak open Simon's bathroom door and see the room deserted. He must've gone to check on Clary's current state. Or to take a shower.

Like promised, Simon has set out a bundle of clothing for me on the foot of his bed. There is a sticky note on top of it. It reads:

_For you._

_Love, Si._

I smile and shake my head. Then I look at the clothes he set out. An old T-shirt that reads **Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me Gorgeous, What about You?** and a pair of old boxers. I pull on the clothes and brush my hair, then examine my cheek. It looks like the shower made it worse: it's starting to ooze puss and blood and looks bloated and infected.

There's a knock on the door. "Iz, are you dressed?" Simon.

"Yeah," I respond. Simon opens the door, carrying a first aid kit. His hair is wet and his skin is clean, signaling that he took a shower somewhere else. He's wearing a green hoodie and black shorts. He has a disturbed expression on his face.

He gulps. "Magnus is working on Clary. He almost had to knock Jace out to get him to leave the room. Alec had to drag him away." He grimaces. "By the looks of it, Clary isn't... she doesn't seem to be doing well."

My heart wrenches. I look at Simon's expression. He looks terrified. I've only known Clary for three years, and Simon has known her for his whole life. I can tell how much they care for each other. If Clary... _dies_... I can't even begin to imagine what would happen to Simon. And Jace.

_JACE_.

No no no, Clary is the only girl Jace has ever loved. It took Jace years to love Alec, Max and I, but Jace loved Clary from the start. And after all that's happened... no no _no_.

"She _can't_ die," I blurt out, my throat tightening. It comes out all awkward, squeaky and off key.

Simon doesn't say anything, just gently grabs my hand and leads me to the bathroom. He motions for me to get on the counter. I hop up on the cold table, my legs dangling slightly over the edge. He opens up the first aid kit and takes out a bottle of disinfectant. "Since runes don't work," he says, "I'm going to try to help you the mundane way."

He pours some of the disinfectant on a towel and says regretfully, "This might sting..."

As soon as the towel is placed over my wound, I shout a word that probably can be heard around the entire Institute. It burns and burns and burns until Simon takes the towel away, apologizing profusely. I feel puss leaking out of my wound more, like trickles of tears, until it's only blood. The bloating has decreased and the redness is turning more pink. Simon takes out a bandage with cream and places it over my cheek, securing it with surgical tape. The only thing I can think is, _this is going to leave a _big_ scar_.

Once my wound is all taken care of, Simon helps me down from the counter and leads me over to his bed. He pulls the covers back and I crawl underneath the warmth, feeling my eyelids getting heavy. Simon kisses my forehead and heads towards the door.

"Wait," I say. Simon looks at me. "Can you stay?"

He looks like he's going to say no, but then says, "Sure Iz."

He kicks off his sandals and gets under the covers with me. I turn to face him. He gently strokes the side of my face, causing me to shiver. He looks as tired as I feel, all mixed up with desperation and fear.

"Do you love me?" I suddenly ask, more desperately than I intended.

Simon looks frazzled. "Do you think I don't?"

"No," I say. "I just... I need to hear you say it."

He kisses the corner of my lips and whispers, "I love you, Isabelle Lightwood," his hot breath kissing my skin. I put his face in my hands and kiss him square on the mouth. The kiss is filled with fear and desperation and passion and it's everything I want us to be, hope for us to be, someday.

We break away and press our foreheads together. "And I love you, Simon Lewis," I whisper. He smiles that smile that I love, and I close my eyes. I fall into the dark abyss of sleep, feeling Simon's arms around me and his slender fingers brushing through my hair. And all our worries aren't our biggest concern at the moment, it's just each other. That's how I want it to stay. I want it to stay like this so badly.

But I know, I know, it won't.


	3. Scared To Death

**Chapter Three: Scared To Death**

* * *

**Maia POV**

In the few years that I've known her, I've realized that whenever Lily gets severely upset, she just gets pissed and acts like she wants to kill every living thing in her path. And I just deal with it, because it seems that she has developed a sort of liking for me that I don't want to ruin.

But right now, she seems too pissed for me to handle.

"What the _hell!_" she exclaims. "It would be okay if it were just one; it wouldn't be that big of an issue. Even two, I could deal. But seven. _SEVEN_."

It is in situations like these that I have to be the reasonable one. "The Clave is doing what they can."

"Screw the Clave!" Lily screams, slamming her fist down on my desk. "Some bastards killed seven of my clan. What if it were seven of your pack, huh?"

I sigh. "I'd be reacting like you."

A ghost of a smile appears at her mouth. "So we finally come to an understanding."

"I've been understanding you this entire time," I say calmly. "But screaming and cursing isn't going to get us anywhere."

Lily takes a long drag from her cigarette. "I hate when you're right."

Smiling, I look down at the packet in front of me and flip to the next page: the body shots. I've flipped through these about fifty times, and each time they get more gruesome. It looks like their bodies have been lit on fire and all their blood was replaced with acid. The Clave doesn't have a clue of what could've killed them. Their first guess would've been demons, but there aren't any demons that could possibly kill a vampire like that. Or any Downworlder, for that matter. The bodies were discovered by Bat and a few other wolves seven hours ago, an hour after I came home from the Institute, by the pond at the park.

"I gotta scram," Lily says, flipping her blue hair over her shoulder. "Only got an hour 'till dawn."

"See ya," I say as she walks out.

After endless hours of writing down notes, inferring, looking through books and the packet, rereading the books and the packet, swallowing my vomit and ignoring my tired brain and hungry stomach, the clock reads noon. I feel like I'm gonna pass out when the phone rings. I pick it up, trying not to sound too desperate for a break from this work. "Hello?"

"Maia?" the caller says. Bat.

"Hey," I say, leaning back in my chair. "Look, I've got work-"

"I know," he says. "I was just wondering if you'd like to come down to Hunter's Moon for a while. You've been cooped up in that station for nearly sixteen hours."

I bite my lip and look at the huge mess in front of me. And I decide that a break wouldn't hurt. "Yeah. Okay. I'll be there in a few."

I hang up the phone and grab my leather jacket. I leave a note on my desk for anyone looking for me to tell them I'm out, and walk out of the station, closing the door behind me.

* * *

"Thanks for inviting me," I tell Bat as I slide into the seat next to him. I must look horrible; my lips are chapped, I haven't showered in twenty-four hours, there are bags under my eyes from lack of sleep, and I just got drenched from the pouring rain.

"Thanks for coming," Bat says. He, too, looks tired from staying up all night.

"Here," Leila says, passing me a mug of coffee. "You look like you need this. A lot."

"I look that bad?" I ask glumly, gratefully taking the mug from her.

"No," Bat says, hesitating. "You've just… lost that usual… you know. Healthy glow."

I frown at him. "Thanks."

By one o'clock, I feel fed, awake and motivated to get back to work and solve this mystery. I feel like a detective from one of those old crime-murder shows that Daniel was so obsessed with. I'm about to tell everyone that I'm going to leave when my cellphone rings. Expecting it to be Lily, I flip it open and answer, "Hello?"

"Is this Maia?" the voice asks. I don't recognize it.

"Yeah, who's this?" I ask.

"It's Alec," he says.

"Oh! Hi," I say. He was the last person I expected to call me, especially on my cellphone. "What's up?"

"Listen, something happened," he says. "Something bad."

I immediately sit up. Bat notices my body language and puts a hand on my arm. "What happened?"

"It's Clary," he says. "She and Isabelle got attacked by these unknown demons and she's seriously injured."

I stand abruptly, causing the present members of my pack to quiet down. "Will she be all right?"

"We don't know." He pauses. "The reason I called you is that I tried calling Clary's parents, but they won't answer their home phone. We need to contact them, so Simon gave me your number to see if you have Luke's cell number."

"I do," I say, picking up my purse and heading towards the door. "I'll give him a ring and get back to you."

"Thank you so much Maia," says Alec, relief evident in his voice.

"Do you mind if I drop in to see you guys?" I ask, biting my lip. I push open the doors to the restaurant and stand under the overhang, keeping dry so I can open my cheap umbrella.

"Sure, sure," he says. "Bye."

"Later," I say, and I hang up just as Bat walks out and looks at me.

"What happened?" he asks.

"Luke's daughter is injured," I say. "I need to call him, then I'm going to the Institute to check on them."

We both look out at the pouring rain. It's coming down in sheets now, and I sigh in defeat, knowing that my crappy umbrella stands no chance in keeping me dry. "Do you need a ride?" he asks.

"That'd be helpful," I say. We walk to his car and I sit in the passenger seat while Bat turns on the ignition. I take out my phone and dial Luke's number.

"Hello?" Luke answers.

"It's Maia," I say. "Luke, I've got some bad news..."

* * *

**Alec POV**

Jace sits across the table, staring at me with an emotion I can't decipher. I assume it's hatred, mixed with his worry and angst. He's been doing this ever since he gave up trying to see Clary when I threatened to rune him. He isn't even blinking or moving, just staring at me. It makes me seriously uncomfortable.

"Jace, you need to stop looking at me like I just ruined your life," I say.

"I don't need to do anything," he says, his eyes glinting with anger. "No, scratch that. I need to see Clary."

"You can't see Clary," I say for the billionth time. "Magnus needs silence to concentrate on helping her. You _know_ this."

"I just want to be with her," he says tiredly. Even Jace is beginning to wear out. "I want to help her."

"You're helping her by staying out of that room," I say with finality, just as I hear the elevator doors open.

"Hello?" the voice calls. I recognize it as Maia's voice.

I walk into the living room, leaving Jace in the kitchen. Maia is standing in front of the elevator. Her brown hair is plastered to her forehead, dripping on the carpet. Her jacket is clinging to her body, her cut offs are soaking, her boots leave footprints on the floor, and her eyes are filled with worry.

"Luke and Jocelyn are on their way," she says when she sees me. "They sounded panicked."

"They have every right to be," I say, taking her jacket and hanging it on the coatrack. I motion for her to follow me into the kitchen and she sits down. I open the refrigerator. "Do you want anything to eat?"

"I-I'm not really hungry," she says quietly.

"No, it's okay. Izzy didn't make it-"

"No, really. I just came from lunch at Hunter's Moon," she assures me. "Plus… I just can't really eat right now."

"I understand," I say, but I still pull out the pitcher of water a pour three glasses. I take one and hand one to Maia and Jace. Maia thanks me and drinks nearly half of it while Jace just stares at it blankly.

"So, where are Simon and Isabelle?" Maia asks, probably trying to fill the awkward silence.

"Probably screwing each other," Jace mutters dryly.

"Actually, we were just sleeping," Simon says, walking into the room. He looks pale and tired. Izzy walks in behind him. Her cheek is bound with a bandage and her hair is put in a messy ponytail. Izzy sits next to me and Simon beside her. "But it's always good to know what people think we do to each other in our times of distress."

Jace doesn't even look up from his cup, just mutters something that sounds like glass mole.

"Are her parents coming?" Izzy asks quietly.

I nod. "Mom's coming too, but she's a little caught up at the moment." We sit in silence for a while, the tension getting thicker by the second. I'm afraid it might smoother us until Maia, ever the conversationalist, speaks.

"Jace, are you okay?" she asks. I can't tell if she's being polite or genuinely concerned. Jace is staring at his glass of water so intently that I figure he's either a) trying to count all the molecules of water or b) is trying to see if he has laser vision and can get the glass to burst into flames.

I expect Jace to flip out, but instead he smiles at her, a little too widely. "Fantastic," he says. "Fan-freaking-tastic."

The concern leaves Maia's face and is replaced with a frown. "All right then."

"I mean, why wouldn't I be?" he says, standing up. "It's not like my fiancé is in an infirmary, dying from a serious demon attack, and I'm not allowed in the room to be there with her."

"_Jace_…" Izzy says is a pained voice.

He bangs his fist down on the table, causing all of us to jump and the glasses to rattle. "I don't want your pity," he says quietly. He stands up abruptly, causing his chair to fly out from under him and hit the wall. "I'll get enough of that at her funeral."

"Will you _stop_ that?" I say, fed up. I stand and Jace turns to face me. "Yeah, I get it. We all understand that Clary might die. But you can't stand here, acting all high and mighty because you're her boyfriend. We know her. We're her friends. Heck, we're her family. And you have no right to sit here and act more important than the rest of us, more wounded than we are." Jace opens his mouth to interrupt me. "Shut up. _Shut up_." He closes his mouth. I want to stop talking, but my mouth is like a dam; once it gets a tiny crack and lets a little water trickle through, the entire thing bursts. "Did you even bother to think of how the rest of us are feeling? Izzy? She was there, and I heard her blame herself for all that happened to Clary. Simon? He's her best friend. They've known each other forever. Maia? Do you really think that she would be okay with losing Clary after what happened to Jordan? Magnus? He's in there right now, trying to save her life under all this pressure. And me? The one who had to make all the phone calls and try to keep everyone calm while all I'm getting from you is a bunch of crap that I _really_ don't want to deal with?" Jace stays silent. I can't decipher the emotion in his eyes. My throat feels tight. "And why doesn't that surprise me? 'Cause I'd really rather it did."

I tear away from his gaze. "You know, ever since you and Clary have dated, and I looked at you, I thought that somewhere in your heart, you gained more love and faith. I thought that maybe she changed you. But now, I realize that you haven't changed. Because you sure as hell have no faith that Clary can get better, and don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. You just think of how this is affecting you, and how you are going to turn out, and you you you you _you_." My voice has risen to a shout, and I want to stop myself from saying any more, but right now I feel too hurt. I walk up to him and say in a whisper, "I guess even Clary can't change a heart that wasn't there in the first place." And I walk out, feeling three pairs of eyes on me. I know my words were harsh, I know they were over exaggerated, and I know that Jace took them like a knife. But I can't care right now, I can't handle everything at once.

Even _I_ break. I already told him that. And he already knows.

But I guess he doesn't care.

I look back to see that Jace is just frozen in place, frozen by the harsh reality that I struck him with. And I realize that it was better that I struck him with it now, like a slap to the face after an entire tower has toppled on top of him, rather than never.

* * *

I sit in my room with a book, trying to read, but everytime I look at the words on the page, all I feel is sick. Just really, really sick. I feel like vomiting when somebody knocks on my door.

"Come in," I sigh. There is a pause of silence, and then the door creaks open slightly and the last person I expect to visit me walks right into my room.

_Jace_.

I sit up and just look at him, not knowing what to do. He just stands there, with his hands in his jean pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. His hair is still wet from the shower I forced him to take a while ago, and his expression is clear for once: guilt with determination.

"I'm," he says after a minute, "an ass."

"And so he speaks," I say in a sarcastic voice, standing and throwing my book over my shoulder. It hits the floor with a thump. "You know, for a moment there I thought you were going to say 'sorry', but I realize this is much much better. So much more realistic."

Jace looks flustered. "Alec, just hear me out."

"And why should I?"

"Because," he says quietly. "I'm your brother. Your _parabati_." He pauses. "When has that never been enough?"

I stare into the desperation in his eyes and bite back a sigh. "All right. Speak."

He takes a deep breath. "We both know I don't like pity. And even when I try not to get it, people give it to me anyway. It makes me feel like they're trying to insult me, trying to tell me how I should feel. But I know how I should feel. And I try not to feel it." He pauses, straightening. "It's like if I see a plane of flowers, I don't see a field of weeds like you'd think I do. I see… something beautiful that I'll have to force myself to step on, and ruin, to get across. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes," I say slowly.

"This is nothing new, Alec. Me, being an ass. You, being the older, wiser one. But right now, I can't think, I can't care about other people and I can't do anything, and I _can't_. That doesn't mean that I don't _want_ to. But my only will, my will to love, my will _live_, is _dying_ in that room-" Jace cuts off and looks out the window. The rain has subsided to a lame drizzle, and New Yorkers are walking on the sidewalks below, carrying their umbrellas. His expression is tight and pained, like he's trying not to cry. "It's not that I don't have faith. I'm bracing myself for the worst. And it's not that I don't have a heart. Clary's my heart. And right now she's-" He breaks off again. "I can only take so much pain. And to get rid of it, I reflect it onto other people. It's not fair, but…"

"That's what you were brought up to do," I finish quietly. He simply nods. "You're right. It's not fair that you cause other people pain in times of despair. But it's not fair of me to hold you accountable to it. This is your way of dealing, to let it out in tiny bullets aimed at the first living target you can get, and mine is to hold it all in, to stay the stronger one. But I know that I break, and I need to remember that you do, too. So I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," he says quietly. It would be too awkward if we hugged, and we both know that, so Jace just sits at the foot of my bed, and I sit next to him, feeling the anxiety and the pain and the fear rolling off of each of us, but most of all, I feel something that is new, something better, for the first time in a while.

_Hope_.

* * *

**Aww, look at that. Alec and Jace are bros again :)**

**Reviews are very, very much appreciated *hint hint***

**P.S. Next chapter we see what's up with Clary... maybe... **


	4. Untitled

**AN: Brace yourselves...**

**Chapter Four: Untitled**

* * *

**Jace POV**

It's been an hour since Magnus was left with Clary.

And it has been the longest hour of my entire life.

Every once in a while, he'd poke his head out and ask Alec for something, but he usually kept himself in there. Luke and Jocelyn came a half and hour ago, both frantic and fearful. And Maryse came shortly afterwards. We're all sitting in the living room now; Maryse is talking on the phone in a hushed voice, Izzy is rubbing her _parabati_ rune slowly while Maia talks to her in a whisper, Simon is tapping his foot, Clary's parents are holding each other's hands and Magnus asked for Alec four minutes ago, leaving me all alone in the corner, staring out the window. The rain has stopped now, but the sky remains a dark, lonesome gray. My heart is constricting every other second, my hands are sweating, and I can't even think about anything else except-

"Clary's okay."

My head darts up at the voice; Alec's voice.

I shoot to my feet and face my _parabati_. He looks tired, as if he were the one who has been operating on Clary for the past hour, and distressed. I can tell he knows something. Something bad. Everyone else is standing now, all asking the same questions at the same time.

"Can we see her?"

"Is she awake?"

"How is she?"

"Soon, no, and I'm about to tell you that," Magnus says, walking up behind Alec. He looks like he could use a long, long nap. His body looks stiff, his mouth is in a frown, and his usually eye-burning glitter has gone flat. "Clarissa is alive, and healed." Sighs of relief are exchanged throughout the room. "You didn't let me finish."

My heart starts to pound.

"You see, there has been some… permanent damage…" He finishes it off so quietly that I think I misheard him, but I didn't. None of us did.

"What _kind_ of permanent damage?" Jocelyn demands, her voice tight and strained.

Magnus looks hesitant. My hands are shaking and my knees feel extremely weak and my head throbs in pain and I feel like vomiting and my heart is pounding so hard that I'm afraid it might explode and I'll crumple into a million pieces and I'll be too broken to fix-

"Clary's blind. And there's no way I can reverse it."

And if there was anything, _anything_, that was holding me from falling on the floor now, it's all gone.

Jocelyn falls against Luke in tears, Maryse looks sick, Izzy looks up at the ceiling and Simon closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. Maia's expression is clearly shocked, but also looks curious, and I can't understand why. But all the same, my knees give away and I fall.

Alec grips me by the forearm before I can fall and give myself a concussion. He gently stands me up straight and plops me in the nearest seat. I put my face in my hands and try to stop myself from shaking, but I feel so cold, so incredibly cold.

Clary, my Clary, _blind_.

She won't be able to see. She won't be able to draw, or hunt, or create runes because she can't, because she needs her eyes to work to do those things. And this is her life, the life she's grown to love so dearly, and it has all been taken away by some filthy demons.

I sit in the chair for what feels like eternity, trying to calm myself down. But it's like trying to breathe when you don't have any air to inhale.

I'm not aware of Alec saying my name until he shakes me violently. My head snaps up and I inhale deeply, trying to hold in all that I want to come out.

"Jace," Alec says. "Clary's parents visited her already. You can go see her now."

At this, I should be ecstatic and leap out my seat and down the hall, but right now I'm regretting walking into that room and facing something that will cause us all such a terrible, terrible mess.

But I stand anyway, swallow the bile that rises in my throat, and walk down the hall with Alec and Magnus by my side.

Each step echoes off the Institute walls, and the closer we get to the infirmary, the louder they seem to pound. We reach the infirmary doors, and my stomach is doing these flips that happen when I get really, _really_ nervous.

Without a word, Magnus pushes open the infirmary door.

My eyes immediately find her. She's laying on one of the beds, dressed in a black T-shirt and shorts. There is a thick bandage wrapped around her right forearm and a bandage wrapped around her eyes like a blindfold. But she doesn't look feverish anymore; if anything, she looks more peaceful than I've ever seen her in her sleep.

There are books and papers scattered around the room, supposedly from Magnus's frantic searching for spells and remedies. I recognize the Book of the White laying open on one of the chairs, a stele keeping it open to a particular page. I sit in the seat next to it and stare at the girl who lays still in front of me.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts," Magnus says quietly, motioning for Alec to follow him out of the room. Alec doesn't look back to meet my gaze when he leaves. The door shuts softly behind them.

I sit in my chair, my mind going blank. I suppose that it should be reeling with thoughts and worries and pain, but it's just blank. In fact, my entire body is numb, as if all my veins were filled with ice. The only thing I can feel is my heart, and how hard it's beating.

I want to look at Clary, but I can't, because then all my emotions will come back to me and I'll have to endure them again. The guilt, the angst, the fear, the horror of it all. So I just stare out the window, and stare at the gray sky until it becomes too blurry and my eyes sting and my head starts to hurt-

And the girl in the bed starts to stir.

* * *

**Clary POV**

The first thing can I register when gain consciousness is my searing headache.

A groan escapes my lips and I roll to my side. There is a bandage over my eyes, so I can't open them. But I can somehow tell that I'm not in my bed. And the tension in the atmosphere tells me that something is wrong. Something I terribly wrong.

"Clary?" a man's voice asks me. Jace. My Jace. "Thank the Angel. You had everyone scared to death."

"Wh-What happened? Where am I?" I ask, my voice hoarse.

I feel his hand slip into mine. "You-You don't remember?"

"No," I say. "All I know is that my head feels like someone bashed it against a pile of bricks fifty-billion times."

Jace laughs dryly. "You're in the infirmary. You and Izzy were outnumbered by some demons. You were both nearly killed."

"Is Isabelle okay?" I ask, worried.

"Yeah," he says. "Just her cheek got... scratched."

"Oh," I say. But I can tell he isn't telling me something. "Why are my eyes covered?"

Silence fills the room, and the tension builds. I can tell something is wrong. Something is terribly, terribly wrong.

"What is it?" I say, my voice rising. He doesn't respond, just grips my hand tighter.

I feel like screaming at Jace to tell me the absolute truth when I hear the door creak open. "Oh! You're awake." I recognize the voice to be Magnus's, but his voice is dry of all emotion.

"Cut the crap you two. Tell me what's wrong," I say, sitting up. My head protests, but my heart is pounding too hard for me to care.

There is a pause of silence. Then: "You see, Clary, there have been some… complications…" Magnus trails off.

"With _what_?" I say, getting fed up. Jace puts his hand on my shoulder, but I swat it away.

"Those demons that you and Isabelle faced-" Magnus begins.

"They weren't normal demons," Jace finishes.

"They could burn through your skin and damage your vitals or affect their functions," Magnus continues. "Runes don't affect them, and water makes the burns worse. I tried mundane creams on yours, and it seemed to help noticeably." He pauses. "I can't exactly put this delicately Clary, and I don't want you to freak out."

"Freak out? Why would I freak out?" My breathing starts to come faster.

There's silence again. "Damn it, _tell_ me! What could possibly be so-"

"You're blind, Clary."

I don't do anything for a moment. I sit perfectly still, the word that was about to come out of my mouth still on lips, my hands gripping ferociously at the sheets in a death hold, my eyes squeezed shut. The only difference is my breathing. It seems to have stopped.

So many thoughts tumble through my brain, and I they are all moving so fast and my head hurts so much that I can't even _think_-

And I scream at the top of my lungs.

People are trying to get me to calm down by talking to me soothingly and gripping my hand, but I shove them away and cover my ears and let my tears fall and just scream, and scream, and scream. I can't think, I can't speak, I can't breathe, I can't _see_. I can only scream. And I scream, somehow wishing that if I screamed loud enough and long enough, I may scream myself into oblivion. And I'll disappear, and this will all be one big, sick dream, and my life won't be ruined into one whole big mess that can't be fixed. And I'll be okay, we'll all be okay, and life will be just like it has been for the past few years. _Perfect_.

But I, of all people, should know that life isn't a fairy tale. And to think that it was, for just a moment, is unbelievable.

The pain won't stop. It'll just keep coming.

_There is no happily ever after._


End file.
